It's almost 3am and I'm laying in my hospital bed wide awake after being awoken for blood work, vital signs and pain meds. I can't believe I'm back in the hospital again...it's only been 2 months since the last time I was here.
I ended up in the ER of my local hospital yesterday morning after having a sudden onset of horrible abdominal pain that brought me to my knees and I was vomiting and nauseated. So, my husband took me to the ER. I was taken right back and it didn't take long for me to have a ct scan that confirmed a small bowel blockage and for them to tell me I was being admitted into Presby hospital in Pittsburgh (I still don't understand why they tell you Presby when they actually admit you into Montifiore). So the doctors came in this morning and tell me that they didn't see the blockage on the films of my ct scan, but the intestine was dilated as if I had a blockage. Weird. They called in a consult of pittsburgh's top motility doctor, and hopefully I will see him tomorrow. Since this is the 2nd time in such a short period of time this has happened, the one doctor here thinks I have a CIP, which stands for Chronic Intestinal Pseudo-obstruction disease. It's where your small bowel thinks there is a blockage and gives you all the symptoms of having one without there actually being an obstruction. It's a malfunction of the nerves and muscles in the intestine. Not sure if its definitely what is going on with me, but given my past history, I wouldn't be shocked. But if any doctor will figure it out, it would be a motility expert. Maybe I will get an answer as to why my digestive system is so slow, too. The kicker here is I actually have a test scheduled for tomorrow...or today since its pass midnight to get tested for gastroparesis which is basically paralyzation or slowed emptying of the stomach. Can't wait to get an accurate diagnosis of what is happening with my body so we can manage the symptoms and I can move on.
My depression that I wrote about previously has dissipated. I reported the change of mental state to the endocrinologist and he switched medicine which I seem to be doing great on. I was starting to feel like myself again, but ended up back in here. I ended up skipping a dose yesterday because the hospital didn't give me my dose, so I carried a horrible headache all day.
I had a dream just before I was woke up that me and my husband and our girls were at Erie beach. My husband and I were just sitting on the beach watching our girls chase each other as they were blowing bubbles. And I was able to feel the contentment and happiness in the dream. It's kind of funny how much can change in a years time, yet stay the same. I have gone through so much since Novemeber, with my surgery and multiple hospital stays. Finding out I have a tumor and multiple ovarian cysts. And my husband has been by my side every step of the way. All of the stress and worry that I've caused him has given him an ulcer and he gets pretty sick with it. When he feels too stressed or eats the wrong thing, he will throw up. I feel horrible that I'm the reason this happened to him. But as others have pointed out, he loves me and is difficult to just stand by and watch when the one person you love the most in the world is going through so much and there isn't a single thing you could do to stop it.
The dream made me want to return to Erie this summer. My husband bought me a pair of swim bottoms specifically made to hold and hide the appearance of the ostomy, along with a wrap and a few pairs of ostomy underwear. The stuff actually came in today but he is on afternoon shift and hasn't been able to come up and see me yet. He had all plans on coming up today to see me, but he got forced at work and is probably of his way home now. Our anniversary is on Sunday, so I hope i am out of here in time for that. If not, he is off and he said he would spend the whole day with me here. Hopefully I will be allowed food by then, or at least I hope I will have an appetite by then. I haven't had anything to eat or drink since yesterday morning and even then, I didn't have much. I was able to drink a half cup of coffee before the symptoms appeared then I was too sick to finish.
Gonna sign off for now and try to get a little more sleep. I know how early those doctors come in and hopefully I will get some tests ordered so I'm not just laying in bed all day like I did yesterday.
